Sean's Blog

Sean C. Higgins has been on a journey to become a Transformation Specialist. As he progresses on that journey, he has faced many questions that has caused him to contemplate his path and direction. He shares his contemplations in his blog.

What is Life Calling You to Do?

Have you ever taken a moment and wondered why you chosen this lifetime? Are you just going from day to day doing the same things everyday? I know that sometimes I am guilty of doing just that. Getting up, going to work, coming home, going to bed, and repeat. I have put a high priority on work and my world has revolved around work. It was so bad at one time that I was lost on the weekend, because I have no work to do. Thankfully, I am getting better. Yes, work is a high priority for me, but I am finding time for me and those things that really matter for me. How am I doing it? I am starting to slow down and listen. I am listening to the inner voice coming from inside me. I am asking questions of myself and others and I am trying not to take on the energy of those around me. For you that do not understand energy, one example is that I am not taking on their urgency in a situation. Sometimes, people make things more urgent than it needs to be. I am working on coming up with my own urgency and asking questions helps me do that. At work, this can be challenging, and I like to make decisions, but I want to make the right decision and not the one that seems right because somebody is yelling at me. For example, I have a sales person at our organization who wants to close a deal and deliver it by the end of the year and we are...

You Cannot Give Away What You Do Not Have

On the way to workout this morning, I was listening to Wayne Dryer’s “It’s Never Crowded Along the Extra Mile”. In the book, he talks about his 10 secrets for success and inner peace. The principle that he talked about during this morning's commute was that “you cannot give away what you do not have.” From a physical point of view, this make perfect sense. I cannot give you $10, if I do not posses $10, but Wayne was talking about something deeper than physical items. His first example was to talk about how you cannot give away love, if you do not love yourself first. Pause and think about this for a moment. Does this make sense to you? It took me a moment to believe what Wayne was talking about. He talked about peace. How can we as people have peace, if we do not know peace within us first? If you do not know peace, how can you create it outside of yourself? If you are not happy, how can you make other happy? Yes, I know it is a choice for others to be happy or not, but you cannot be an example of happiness, unless you know it first. All that is, comes from within me. Which ties right into what I am learning from Christy Whitman's "Abundance Course." In the course, Christy is teaching that everything comes from within me. For years, I have always thought when “this” happens, then I will have that. I have believed that my perfect day will begin with a workout in my home gym and then a meditation...

Friends

Friends. I am sure that you have many of them and each one has a different relationship with you. There are friends that you go to lunch with. There are friends that you gossip with. There are friends that you go to the local ballgame with. There are friends that you tell you complain to. There are friends that you share your deepest thoughts with. But, how many of them push you? And I do not mean push you into the pool. I mean push you to become better than you are today? Take a moment and think about it. Is there any one of your friends that makes you a better person? Do you spend enough time with them? Or do these friends sneak up on you and then you realize that you missed spending time with them? I had such an experience recently. I was having coffee with one of my friends that I had not seen in a long time and after we each talked about our families, our work, and other stuff. She turned to me and says, “What happened to your blog? I miss reading it.” And I realized that I have not written a blog in way to many weeks. I gave her an excuse about how my writing could not be posted, and that is partially right, but to be truthful, I have not taken the time to really write. So, as I left, I made a commitment to myself to start blogging again. So, here it is Rose. Thank you for the push! The gentile reminder that my blog is important....

If I Had A Million Dollars

Have you heard the song, “If I Had a Million Dollars?” by the Bare Naked Ladies? It is a song that talks about what they would do if they had a million dollars. Have you ever thought about having a million dollars? What would you do with it? Yea, I know, in today’s economy, a million dollars does not go as far as it used to. So, what if you have ten million dollars, what would you do? I know for me, it is easy to start thinking about what I would do with ten million dollars. I know for one thing, I would travel the world. There are many places that I would like to go and see, like Paris, Australia, Hawaii, the Great Wall of China, South Africa, and more. I think I could sit here for a while coming up with places that I would like to visit. This list only includes the cool places I would like to visit. There is also a list of friends that I would love to visit. I think that list would be even longer than the places that I want to see. Lucky, some of the places I want to visit, I have friends to see, which makes the travel a double win! For all the excitement of having the ten million dollars would bring, I start to worry about loosing the ten million dollars. What if I spend it all before I die? What would I do then? How would I get more money? As crazy as getting the ten million dollars feels, the fear of loosing the ten...

Do You Have A Vision?

How many of you out there dream of a better tomorrow? How often do you sit around and dream of a better life than you have right now? We can always think of something better than we have right now. It does not mean that we do not like what we have today, but we always want more than we have today. How many of you have a vision? I know that some of you have a vision, but I would be willing to bet that most of you are living you life with a dream for a better tomorrow. So, what is a vision? I believe a dream is something that would be nice to have and a vision is something we really want to make happen. I know that sounds like a goal, but I view a vision as the whole picture of your life and a goal is specific to a certain aspect of your life. For example, your vision may include a description of a healthy you, and a goal would be to exercise every day. Another difference between a dream and a vision is the action. If you are taking action, then you have a vision. If you are not taking action, then you just have a dream. How do you make a vision a reality? Step one, make it vivid. Describe it in as much detail as you can. Write it down and keep refining it. See, feel, and touch your vision and do it daily. Spend time in your vision. In this step, this may be spending time dreaming and that is...

Writing

On the weekends, I make my way to Starbucks, have my Chi, and write. I like getting up and writing as part of my day. I never know what I am going to write about and sometimes the writing makes its way to my blog. Why only sometimes? Well, there are a few reasons; sometimes what I write is not a complete thought. It is something that I am just starting to examine and I could not get my head around the thought. Sometimes what I write just does not make sense and takes a few writing sessions to clarify itself. Sometimes what I write is too personal and most of the time, it is not too personal for me, but too personal for the people I am writing about. I am not writing about the person, but my interaction with the person. I do try to do my best to hide who I am writing about, but when I cannot and I know how sensitive the topic is to that person, then I have to save those stories for another time. It is a shame, because some of those writings include some of my greatest insights about myself. Either way, I enjoy the writing process. For me, it is a form of meditation. I sit down, close my eyes, relax, and then let whatever comes to mind flow onto the page. I try and do very little editing in what I am thinking as I am writing, because when I get too caught up in editing I loose the importance of the thoughts that are trying to express...

Whose Happiness Are You Responsible For?

Think about it. List all the names of people that you are responsible for their happiness. Let’s see, your spouse or significant other, list all your children. Are their family members on that list? How about co-workers, or people you manage? Should I keep going? Are their friends that need you to be happy? How many names did you get on your list? 5, 10? Who is responsible for your happiness? How many people do you allow to be responsible to make you happy? Is that list bigger than the people you are responsible to make happy? Or is there nobody in your life who can make you happy? What if I told you that you are responsible for your happiness and only your happiness? First, do you believe me? I have been really feeling into this recently and I know that I am still working on it. When my wife is unhappy, it is hard for me to either not be unhappy, but also not to want to make her happy. But, it is her choice to be happy or not. I can try to influence her happiness, but she is the one who makes the choice. And, I can choose to be happy even if she chooses to be unhappy. Second, if you believe me that you are only responsible for your happiness, do you feel a weight life from your shoulders? I know that I do. When I know that I am not responsible for anybody else’s happiness, I feel it is much easier for me to be happy. Yes, it is a work in progress,...

Shine on Me!

Since the early days of the Internet, I have had at least one website. They have been filled with useful information and were very functional, but they have never really looked beautiful. When people ask me if I can help them with a website, I say yes, and that it will be functional, but it won’t be pretty. Well, today that has changed! My personal website, https://www.seanchiggins.com, has been upgraded and now it even looks beyond pretty. It is amazing! I had very little to do with the design and execution of the changes to the site. All the changes were the brain storm of Nathan Strickland. Nathan connected with me via LinkedIn and instead of just asking to redesign my website, he sent me some of his ideas for a website redesign in his first message. I liked the ideas and put him off, but he kept bugging me. One evening, I got an email from Nathan and he said, how about a video for your website? I was blown away! That is the video you can see on my website. And yet, I still delayed Nathan. Why? Because he was designing a website that would shine the light on me and make me stand out. I mean, you tell me. I cannot go around and hide what I do with a beautiful website like I have now. Can I? I am still a bit uncomfortable with the website, because it is greater than I see myself. Yes, the information on the website is true, but when I talk to people, I downplay what I do, think of...

Urgent or Important?

How many of you are sitting at your computers right now waiting for that next email? I know that I am guilty of that. I will sometimes sit there and just stare at my inbox waiting for that next email to arrive so that I can act on it right away with urgency. When did email become so urgent? Or, why have you and I made it so urgent? Is email really that urgent? It is funny, because I tell people that I will get to my email within 24 hours, but as soon as it arrives, I am jumping all over it and if it is not urgent, it can sit in my inbox for weeks until I do something with it. Crazy! How many of you stress over the number of emails in your inbox? How many of you look at your emails as soon as you get out of bed in the morning, or even hear the dings of emails all night? Email is just one example. How many things do we let slide because it wasn’t “urgent” and we only begin to act when it is really urgent? I can hear many of you saying, “But I have too many urgencies?” Do you really? Sit and think about it for a moment. Is everything really “urgent”? I have been working with a customer recently and the team was under performing and we could not figure out why. When I started looking at what they were doing, there were way too many people asking for things and telling the people each item was urgent and needed...

Happy Father’s Day

Happy Father’s Day to all those fathers in the world! Yes, I am a father as well. I have had the pleasure to be not only a biological father, but also a step-father. As a step-father, I never tried to replace my step-children’s father. I just tried to be me and have a relationship with them. I am still working on me, but have a wonderful relationship with my step-children. My step-son played hockey and lacrosse on travelling teams and we spent many hours in the car together going to and from games. I would let him play his music as we rode together as long as there were no explicit words in the songs. So, what did he do? Well, he would turn down the volume on the songs when the explicit words came on. I get a laugh out of that everytime that I think about that. I did have the pleasure of coaching my step-son in lacrosse. I was blessed that my step-son was a good lacrosse player and normally a very positive and supportive player on the bench. One time, he was having a bad game, and I suggested that he sit a shift or two, and after a few exchanges back and forth, and I threw him off the bench and told him to go to the locker room. After the game, he appologized and admitted that he was having a bad game. I am grateful that he was able to see he was having a bad game and we moved on. For all my years of coaching, he is still the only player...

Do you care about what people think about your work?

This week, I had to put together a report for a customer and because it was the first report of its kind that our company produced, it was very hard for me to write. I struggled with it and then when I was talking to a friend about the report, she said, what if you didn’t care about the result? After she asked that question, a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I was worried about who was going to read the report, what they would think of the report, and thus, what would they think of me. That final thought was what was holding me back from writing the report. It was funny, once I stopped “caring” about the report, the information that should be in the report started flowing and I had a hard time continuing the conversation with my friend. It was amazing. The hard part was that I actually had three reports to write and information for all three reports began to flow into my thoughts at the same time.  Now, I am not talking about not caring about the quality of the work that you produce or do, I am talking about caring what others will think you because of the work you produced. No mater what you produce, it is not you, it is what you produced. I believe we should always try and produce the best we can with the information and skills that we have. Once I finished what I thought should be in the report, I sent the report off to several people for review and one person did not...

Happy Birthday Mom

Today would have been my mother’s 75th birthday. It is hard to believe that just about 5 years ago, we lost my mother. I think about her often. Somedays more than others and today is one of those days.  For her 70th birthday, we planned a surprise birthday party for my mother when my parents visited by brother that summer. We had a lovely surprise party for her with many family and friends in the area. She enjoyed the party, but what I really think that she really enjoyed was having all her grandkids in one location and they were all thrilled to see her. It is sad to think that she is no longer her, but it is memories like her 70th birthday party that I like to remember and hold onto. She made people feel special and you felt special just being around her. She used to coach softball and basketball and more often than not, she would have winning teams. Funny, if you watched her plan her line up, you would not think she was trying to win, because her line up usually consisted of thinking about who had not started yet. I do not know of a winning coach who plans their line up that way. Today, I get to help coach my daughter’s high school softball team. I am looking forward to and I am appreciating that I get to do it on my mother’s birthday. Mom, I will be thinking about you today, especially when I am on that field. If you have lost a love one, I know how sad it can...

Are You Watching Your Thoughts?

Have you ever taken a moment and thought about your thoughts? Yes, I know that we have thousands of them every day and I have a hard time remembering even a few of them, but your thoughts have an impact on your interactions with others. If you do not believe me, sit back and review what you thought about this week and some of the events that happened for you. This happened to me this week. I was thinking about something bad about my wife, and while working in my home office, she came by, asked me a question, and then started to get mad at me. It was very strange, but as I sat back after she left, I realized that I was thinking about something she did to tick me off, and to top it off, it was something silly, like her not picking something up, and our next conversation turned ugly. It took me a while to tune into the information that I attracted the anger from my wife in that moment, but once I did, it hit me like a ton of bricks. How could I expect my wife to treat me nice, if I am not holding nice thoughts about her in my mind. Does that mean that I cannot get angry with my wife? No, but it means that I need to deal with those thoughts in that moment and then get through them. In my example, instead of getting mad at my wife for not picking something up, I should stop, breath, release, and send her love, and then either pick up...

What Do You Want?

Have you ever sat down and thought about what you wanted? I know I have several times and I believe I have probably written about it at least once. I know that life is really what you make of it and what you want. I have had a hard time defining what I want from life. I know that I want to speak to groups, help people improve their lives, write,  and travel the world. What I have a problem with is defining the details of what those items look like. For example, as I start looking at speaking, I get stuck in looking at how speaking will manifest itself in my life. Do I have to promote myself as a speaker and go about getting speaking engagements? Maybe. How does my job and speaking co-exist? Do I have to give up my job and become a full time speaker? And for me, that is where my fear is. It is not in speaking, I love to speak and I wish that I had more opportunities to speak. The fear is looking at the specifics of how speaking will look. But, what if I just held the idea that I want to be a speaker? What if I let got of the specifics of how speaking will materialize in my life? Maybe my job allows me to be a speaker? Would that be ok? YES! I think that I have struggled with thinking that what I want has to be defined in a certain way and shape, but I can open up to the possibility that it does not have...

Happy Birthday to Me

Today is my birthday! Happy Birthday to me! I am 52 years old and, most days, I do not feel old. One thing that I have realized over the years is that time goes by very quickly. When I was young, I could not wait to grow up and now that I am past the “grown up” age, I wonder where the time has gone. Sometimes thinking about where the time has gone makes me sad, because I wonder if I have used my time wisely. How do you know? How do you measure a lifetime? Those are some big questions to reflect upon on a big day. How do you know if you have used your time wisely? Well, what do you remember about the time that you have had? Do you remember good things, bad times, or missed opportunities? For me, it depends upon the mood that I am in. Today, I am in a reflective mood and I remember a little bit of everything. For example, I remember a job opportunity that I past up that I probably should have given more consideration to and it makes me a bit sad, but when I look at what happened to me because I bypassed it, I am glad at where I am in my life. Yes, there have been some sad times, but even in those times, I have grown a bit more through the experience. Would I like some of them back, maybe, but they are important to who I am and I am not certain that I would want to change who I am. How...

How Often Do You Judge People?

After writing last week about being responsible and Hoʻoponopono, I really started to notice my judgements. During my long commute to, and from, the office, when somebody cuts me off, my judgements start to flow and calling them a “jerk”, and jerk is the PG rated thing that I would call them, but after calling them a jerk, I noticed that this was my judgement of them and I start to think about other reasons why they might have cut me off. Yes, the other reasons are judgements as well, but them being a jerk makes me mad versus me thinking they are in a rush to some emergency - a more compassionate judgement. Thinking of the other reasons gets me to shift from being angry to a state where I can start to simply send them love, which is the start of Ho’oponopono and then I continue with the rest of Ho’oponopono. Does that mean that I have stopped calling people who cut me off jerks. Not totally, but I am starting to send them love when they cut me off and skipping calling them a jerk. Yes, just starting. I did have a good laugh towards the end of the week when a car cut off the car behind me and I could tell the guy who got cut off was pissed off. He laid on the horn, used some hand gestures, and then I could see the guy in front of him drive slowly, which pissed off the guy behind him even more. Yes, I sent both of them love and hoped their day went well....

Are You Responsible?

Are you responsible? That is a pretty broad question. One of the first questions that comes to mind is, “responsible for what?” And I think that is the question. I have been pondering the question of responsibility a fair bit this week. So, let’s start simply. Are you responsible for your actions? If somebody yells at you for no perceived reason, and you yell back at them, are you responsible for your yelling at them? Ok, I know that I said that I would start simply and I know that many of you, me included, would have a hard time not yelling back at the person that yelled at me and I might have a hard time taking responsibility for yelling back at them. I mean, what if they called me something bad. Don’t I have the right to yell back at them? They started it, didn’t they? I am just meeting them where they are. They are yelling. So, I am justified in yelling back at them. Let’s step back for a moment, because I do not know about you, but as I am writing and justifying my yelling at the other person, I can feel the rage building in me and I am surprised that I am not yelling at everybody next to me right now. For me, I am going to close my eyes for a moment and take a breath and really just feel the breath come in and as it goes out, I am feeling the release of the anger about somebody yelling at me. Yes, it is hard not to yell back at...

What Do You Feel About Money?

What is money to you? Is it something good? Is it the root of all evil? Is it something that just flows for you? For me, I have always seemed to have enough money to get by. Yes, there have been times where I have lived paycheque to paycheque and really wondered where the money would come from, but money has always showed up for me. I wish I could say that I had an abundance of money, but I think that I have some deep rooted connections with money that prevent me from having an abundance of money. I guess, the first think that I need to understand is what is an abundance of money? An abundance of money would be enough money to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted to do it. If I really look at that, I do have that. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want to. I am currently more limited by what I really want. That is a very interesting thought. Let’s apply that to things for a moment. I recently just bought a new car. I have a BMW 5 series and it is just getting old. I thought that I wanted to get a BMW X5 and I let the money get in the way of me really thinking about getting that car. Granted, the BMW X5 is not a cheap vehicle and the operation of that vehicle is not cheap either, but as I look at my definition of abundance, did I really want the BMW X5, or did I really let the flow, or lack...