Caring What People Think

I consider myself a caring person. I care how people are doing. I care about what is going on in their life. I try to remember their birthdays. I try and reach out when there is an important event in their life. I try and keep in contact with them over the years. I know that I have many special relationships, because of the caring that I have for people. Where I think that this breaks down is when I care about what people think of me. In some of those cases, instead of saying what the person needs to hear, or what I believe, I say what I think they want to hear. Instead of doing what I think is right, I do what I think they want me to do. In both cases, I am limiting who I am as a person by trying to be what I think they want me to be. I have the biggest problem with this with people of power, like my boss. Sometimes, I sit in meetings with these people and instead of being with the energy and allowing me to answer from me, I am more concerned with saying what I think these people want to hear. To be in alignment with them, instead of saying something that might disappoint them. Though I consider that by doing this, I am caring, but in reality I am only caring about me. Afraid of being rejected. Wanting their acceptance. If I am not being true to myself, does it really matter if I have their acceptance or not? If I am trying...

The Desire to Please

I was recently on a phone call with my manager and a client about the work I had recently done for the client. It was part of a new program that we are developing, and I am leading to make our client experience better. The client had said they loved me and my manager wanted to talk to them for more feedback on how we were doing in the delivery of the service we are providing to the client. I originally expected just the main contact person to be on the call and she invited her whole team. She started the call saying how pleased she was with the deployment and specifically pointed out how please she was with the work I had done. On the side, my manager messaged me saying, They really do love you. I would say that he was pleased with the work I had done with the client. It was a nice way to finish the day. As the evening went on, I started to think about next week and realized that I was going to see another client to do the same type of work and I almost had a panic attack around What if this customer does not love me? Heck, I have set such a high standard with the first customer, what if it does not go as well? I had to sit with that for a few moments and wonder where it came from and then I realized that I wanted to please my manager. It had felt good to please my manager that I did not want to let...

Critical Voice

I was recently listening to The Tapping Solution to Create Lasting Change by Jessica Ortner and she was talking about silencing the critical voice in our heads. The voice that keeps telling you you are too old, you are too fat, you are not smart enough, just to name a few things. As I was listening to her talk about the critical voice, I was wondering what my critical voice has told me and other than you are too old. I am not certain that my critical voice has held me back like Jessica was explaining. Where I think my critical voice has held me back is to make sure I have conformed with what I believe society wants to see from me. In reality, it is how I have limited myself and nothing to do with society. My critical voice has been telling me follow the chain of command, do not rock the boat, you should take this "management" job, because that is what you should do, you need to wait for guidance from above on what you are supposed to be doing, you should be married and have a family. In my case, the critical voice is not always wrong. Being married and having a family has brought a lot of joy to me. My critical voice is there to keep me safe as it does not like change. In my case, my belief is that rocking the boat might cause me to lose my job, which would make me not safe. My critical voice in keeping me safe has probably kept me from really enjoying life...

Helping People

I was listening to a podcast this morning on my way to Starbucks and it was talking about making changes, and it started to ask, what changes are you afraid to make in your life? As I was walking and thinking about that, the one thing that I really want to do in my life is I want to help people become the best version of themselves. and I have to admit, that when I really let myself go and be in the flow, that is what I do. I help a lot of people by simply listening to them and asking questions to help them go deeper to give them some additional ways to think or consider about what they are telling me. And, that I can do so much more. I have taken training on various different techniques that I might be able to use to help people and I have used them some time to time to help people, but I have not really jumped into the deep end of the pool to help people. So, as I was walking, I began to wounded why and I think there are two reasons that I have not jumped into the deep end of the pool. One is safety and two is fear of being accepted. I am safe in what I do today. I like what I do for the most part. It is comfortable and when I really feel into it, it has been a rut for a while. And, how I want to help people feels comfortable and yet feels so different from what I...

Remember, Life is a Journey

Sometimes I have to remind myself that Life is a journey. We are on a journey in this lifetime. It was not meant to be lived to obtain a goal and just ride out the rest of your life at that point. I do believe that some people think that and I know that I get stuck in that from time to time. When I was younger, it was easy to keep growing. I was in school and there was goal to graduate. Then there was a goal to go to university and graduate from that. After that, it was supposed to be get a job, get married and raise a family until retirement and at that point you were supposed to enjoy life, but that can lead to a very boring life. In the plant world, you are either growing or you are dying, and I think for the most part, that is how we are in physical form. Our bodies are continually regenerating themselves. I have heard that all the cells in our body are replaced every seven days. So, every week, we are a new physical form. So, what does it mean to continue growing in the later years of your life? First, what are those later years? I think those later years are anytime after which you believe you are done growing. Maybe that is when you get your dream job and want to ride it out. Maybe that is when you hit a plateau in your career and do not feel you can go any higher or further. If I look at those later...