For a while now, I have been trying to figure out what I want and having a very hard time defining what I want and I think I am finally realizing that I have been conditioned to want "things" and I am starting to become dissatisfied with "things". Don’t get me wrong, I have had a lot of things in my life and I have manifested a lot of things in my life.
For example, at one time, I desired a BMW 7 series car and I manifested one. I loved driving it. The BMW 7 series is a wonderful car to drive, but it felt like a bit much of a car for me. I was always worried about it getting scratched or hit or what people were thinking about plain old simple me in this nice fancy car. I then manifested a BMW 5 series and felt much more comfortable in the 5 series over the 7 series. Yes, I know the 5 series is not as nice at the 7 series and I miss the 7 series, but I feel more comfortable in the 5 series.
What is it about what I want that I really want? In thinking about that question, I am starting to realize that what I really want is the experiences, feelings, or memories that I am getting from the wanting. At one time, I had a bigger house on a multi acre property. It was a wonderful house, but what I really loved about that house was the memories that I have from living there, like the parties that we hosted at that house with friends and family, the animals that would show up from time to time, and the peacefulness I had sitting on the back deck at the end of the day. My most special memory was the wedding we hosted for my niece.
Now, if I look at what I want from the experiences, feelings or memories that those things will get me, I can now easier see what I want and stop fighting the thoughts that I am not enough to have them. With that in mind, I would like to have a bigger house. Why? I want to entertain and have people over. I would like to have an SUV. Why? I want to be able to tote stuff around to do things, like camping, hiking, and biking. I would like to travel. Why? I want to see new places in the world and have new experiences. I would like to have the latest iPhone. Why? Just because I am a geek - yes, being really honest here.
What would I like to do? I love being a speaker, because I love sharing ideas that I am passionate about. I love being a coach, because I love to help people through their issues (which helps me through my issues). I love solving problems, because I have to stretch my understanding to solve the problems. I love being an author, because I love to write and share my thoughts. I love learning and experiencing new things, because I feel expansive when I have learned or experienced something new.
Having looked at what I want from what I get from wanting it, I am starting to feel much better and I can start to really connect with what I want. Do I have everything I want here and how I will feel about it, not quite. It is a start and something for me to continue to explore.
How does this feel for you? Does it make you look at what you want and feel differently? Do you want the same things, or something different? Let me know what you think below.