Today is the last day of 2015 and tomorrow, we begin 2016. I am approaching 2016 with more optimism than I did when I approached 2015. At the beginning of 2015, I had no idea what 2015 would bring, nor did I know what I wanted in 2015.In the first few weeks of 2015, I thought that I figured out what I wanted. I got really clear and excited about what I wanted to do and how I was going to do it. I even started to act as if it was already real, but it did not happen and then I was lost. I became uncertain about why my desires did not become my reality when I thought I was doing everything right to create my reality.
So, what did I do? I put my head down and took care of what was in front of me and along the way, I became more clear about what I was supposed to be doing. The idea that I had at the beginning of the year was not what I was supposed to be doing and what showed up was more inline with what I was supposed to be doing.
It took me most of the year to see that what I was doing during the year was more inline with what I was supposed to be doing versus what I wanted to create at the beginning of the year. As well, what was in front of me was only a small part of what I was supposed to be doing. I guess I needed to accept what was in front of me before I could see the bigger picture of what I was supposed to be doing.
Now that I have a new vision is it all roses? No, of course not, that would be too easy. There were things that showed up along the way that I almost missed, because I did not think I should do it, or that I was ready to do it. I did finally wake up and take notice and that helped clarify what I should be doing. And those things that I almost missed, I took a hold of them and they are expanding who I am.
Also, towards the end of 2015, I took on a role that I knew I should not take on, but I did it because it needed to be done and I knew that I could make things better. The bad part is that I let the role define me and I made myself smaller to fit the role. At first, I could not figure out why I was so uncomfortable in the new role, and then I realized that I put myself in the box that was the role and I was bigger than the box. Imagine, trying to fix yourself in a box that is too small for you, it can be very uncomfortable and that it what I was feeling.
So, understanding that I am more than the role I am in right now, that means that I should be doing more than the role, because I can. I have already made some of those changes and then I will make sure that I take time to look at what I am doing and see if I am being me or the role and make sure I choose me. Does that mean I should neglect the role that I am in? No, but it does mean that I should do more than the role when me calls for it.
What else do I need to be aware of? For me, being busy. I can find a lot of things that can keep me busy, especially with technology. I love to play and explore technology and learn about how it works and see what it can do and and and. And before you know it, the day is gone. Was I productive? Maybe, but not likely, but I was BUSY. For me, I need to become comfortable with those free times that I would normally make myself busy and then do what I am drawn to do. I am sure there will be a draw to play with technology, but I think I am going to have to make sure I take an extra breath before playing and see what I am drawn to do. I may need to take two or three breaths, because I am sure that what comes up may make me uncomfortable and it will only be uncomfortable because it will ask me to show up and grow. Showing up and growing is much better than being busy and I choose showing up and growing. Ok, I hope that I can choose the showing up and growing when the opportunities come my way. At least I am aware that being busy is a way for me to not show up and grow, and knowing is the first step along the path.
So, am I glad to see 2015 leave? Not really, I am grateful for 2015. 2015 has been a year of growth for me. I know that I am always trying to improve myself, but 2015 seems to be a special year for my growth, and because of the growth and clarity I received in 2015, I am more optimistic about 2016. Does this mean that 2016 will be a walk in the park? Maybe, maybe not, but what is clear is that I will be more me than I was in 2015 and that is what is making me excited about 2016!
So, how was your 2015? Were you building in 2015 to make 2016 better, or are you still searching? Let me know and let me know if I can help you make your 2016 better than 2015!