This is an excerpt from the book I am writing called, “Living Your Purposeful Life”.
When you present yourself to the world, are you hiding who you really are? Do you have some things that you do not want to tell the world about yourself? Yes, there may be some things the world does not need to know about you, like the color of your bedroom, or who your favorite my little pony pony is.
Think about those things around you that people care about and what you are telling them. If you were to enter into a religious or political discussion, are you going to tell the people what you believe, or are you going to tow the party line? Yes, discussing religious or political topics can be very explosive as people can be very passionate, but if you engage in those discussions, are you being truthful?
Are there areas of your life where you are not being truthful about your life, because you are embarrassed? Do you have a prison record, or a brother that has gone to prison? Did you drop out of university? Are you embarrassed by something a sibling has done, or is doing? I am not saying that you need to go around broadcasting to the world any of these things, but you should not be afraid to talk about them.
Let’s take a look at dropping out of university. Does anybody know that you dropped out of university? If not, why not? If you are embarrassed, that is ok. Why did you do it? At the time, it must have been a good idea. Looking back at it today, was it still a good idea? If not, what did you learn? If you did not learn anything, what could you have learned from it?
May be you dropped out for a great job opportunity that did not pan out. If so, what could you have done differently? Maybe you could have asked some more questions about the company. Maybe you ran the company and made some bad choices during the running of the company. No matter what the reason, what could you have done differently? If you can identify what you could have done differently, then you have learned from the experience.
Can you use what you have learned to help yourself the next time, or to help others? If so, even better. If not, then maybe there is more for you to learn. Go back and look at the situation until you feel you have learned everything you need to learn from the situation.
Now, can you go back and correct that you dropped out of university? Do you want to? Do you need to? If you can correct it and you want to, go ahead. If you do not think you need to go back, then keep moving on. Use the experience and what you learned from it to make you a better person.
What if you have a sibling that has done something that is embarrassing to you? First, take a look at why you are embarrassed? What your sibling does is not a reflection on you, or is that why you are embarrassed? In many cases, what your sibling does does not have any effect on your life unless you let it. So, look at what is embarrassing about your siblings actions? What do you need to learn from them? Do you need to become more compassionate? Was there something you should have done to help your sibling before they got into the situation that embarrassed you? Did you not support your sibling when they asked and now they are in trouble?
None of the answers to the above questions are right or wrong, they just are. They are intended to get you to think. To get you to understand why you are embarrassed so that you can move on. So that you can feel better about talking about your dark little secrets should the topic come up and be stronger for it.